Collectivism Is Absolute
Although the Western world often emphasizes individualism, ownership, and distinctiveness, the undercurrent of collectivism remains deeply embedded in family systems and beyond. In the modern paradigm, collectivism is either suppressed or de-emphasized, yet it continues to shape how individuals relate to one another and define themselves. While Western culture encourages individuals to express their preferences and inner qualities independently of their social settings, this mode of self-identification, though beneficial in many ways, also has its limitations.
Collectivism, however, never truly disappears—especially when viewed through the lens of systems psychology. People inevitably evaluate their identities in relation to the impact they have on others—or the perceived lack thereof. Consider, for example, the relationship between a mother and her son as he pursues his career aspirations. Despite the mother’s efforts to maintain her individuality and focus on her own self-awareness, she may still find herself triggered by her son’s successes or failures. These outcomes often reflect on her internal sense of accomplishment as a parent and her perceived ability to raise a "successful" person. Whether she consciously addresses these feelings or not, they remain integral to her family system and extended identity. In this way, collectivist elements permeate even a seemingly individualistic culture like the United States. In explicitly collectivist cultures, these dynamics are at the forefront, actively shaping family systems and relationships.
For emotional and spiritual growth, Western individuals could benefit from becoming more attuned to the collectivistic elements within their families. This means staying open to feelings of responsibility and recognizing the influence they may have on other family members. Achieving this balance requires self-awareness and equanimity when navigating pride and self-loathing. Excessive pride can create undue pressure, unrealistic expectations, and feelings of guilt or shame if family members fail to meet certain standards. Conversely, a healthy degree of pride acknowledges the positive influence and example one provides within their family, reflecting ownership of one’s contributions to the collective.
Striking this balance offers a more integrated approach to self-identification, one that respects both individuality and interconnectedness. It invites reflection on how our personal lives ripple outward into the broader family system—a dynamic worth considering for anyone on a journey of personal growth.
